That first day at day care, play school or preschool is challenging for parent, child and provider. A scary yet exciting experience. I have compiled a few tips to help make things go a little more smoothly for all parties.

Moms and providers should try to be in contact in the weeks preceding that first day. Moms can be mentioning what a great place day care will be while carers can be encouraging mom to role play with their child by pretending to be at school.

Mom should begin some of the day care routines with the child in the weeks preceding and encourage independence by arranging visits to friends. The provider should insist that mom and child pay numerous visits to the day care in the weeks before the first day so all is not completely strange.

Mom, try and have everything packed and labeled the night before (change of clothes, comfort toys, snacks) and all administrative tasks i.e. payment, forms etc taken care of so you can focus on your child. Have a fun breakfast and chat enthusiastically about the adventure ahead. Providers should have an extra staff member on hand to help with the settling in.

Providers, insist that parents walk their child from the car to the door. Mom, allow your child to pack his own bag. When you get to the day care do not carry him, this will just make the separation all the harder. Hold his hand and walk him to the door.

Providers, your settling in routines are vital and it is crucial you allow mom to be there but not be there. Let the child move at his own pace - be it observing quietly or playing alone. Provide one on one support and be ready when mom leaves to whoosh him away and providing lots of distraction with toys and activities.

Settling in is the time for mom to be there but not be there... Mom should be in the background providing fairly silent support. Allow your child to absorb his new surroundings. Gauge his reactions by stepping out of the room momentarily, explain that you are making a phone call and are just in the hall. Eventually, you will sit in your car or get a coffee as your child settles down. When that time comes say, bye mom will see you later, positively with a quick kiss and leave the room. If your child cries do not look back. They will be distracted and will stop crying shortly.

This drop off and settling in routine is crucial and should be in place from day one. The communication and understanding between parents and providers will ensure an enjoyable transition for both child and mom. Now, moms can relax for a few hours and providers can enjoy the new little character in their day care!!

10 years of running a daycare leaves Fiona Lohrenz with a lot of knowledge to impart. This she does on her website plus on her 'Start a Child Care Business' DVD guide: StartChildCare.com You can find her at her website: ChildCareOnly.com