Have you ever started a new relationship that seemed just perfect--the one you've been waiting for--and then seemingly out of the blue, it all starts to go bad? If so, you're not alone. We're guessing you, like most of us, want a healthy, successful relationship with a caring loving partner. Once you find that person and begin the relationship, the very first thing you might want to do is learn how to maintain it for a lifetime. A big mistake many people make is to believe that when you first start a new intimate relationship, you should become one with the other person. Read on to find out seven tips that will help you sustain your special "ME" and not just become a "WE.'

To create happy, satisfying relationships, it is extremely important to take care of and nurture yourself. You are an essential part of your relationships--you are needed. Your personal wants, preferences, values, and dreams are unique to you and add to all the relationships you enter into. If you think that when you start a new relationship, you should drop your preferences and adopt your partners, you will miss the beauty of what a truly loving relationship can offer.

Whether you're just starting out in a new relationship or have been with your present partner for many years, supporting and eliciting everyone's unique qualities is a common challenge.

Often people are together so much that they are lost or lonely when they're not with their significant other. This loneliness or sense of loss is a clue that you might be losing the "you" in the relationship. When you make your dreams, values, and desires as important as your partner's, you maintain your sense of self. Maintaining your own essence is the easiest way we know to create and keep a healthy, happy relationship thriving for a lifetime:

Here are seven tips for nurturing and cultivating your unique essence:

1. Spend an evening reading. Make sure you read books that engage you, or just make you feel good. If you've been waiting to get your hands on a particular book, take a few minutes now and schedule time to read it. Quiet time at home, enjoying a good book without any interruptions can energize you and bring new life into your relationship.

2. Go places--somewhere you have wanted to go, but haven't because you were the only one that had an interest. You could go to the theater, or see a movie that you've wanted to see, visit that museum with the interesting exhibit, or register for the course that you've been thinking about taking. Don't wait; you owe it to yourself.

3. If you like your family, spend time with them. Experiencing love from your family helps you to create and maintain lasting relationships in other areas of your life. Very often, when we first start a new relationship, we spend so much time with our partners that we don't believe we have enough time for our other relationships. Sound family ties help us feel a sense of community that is with us whether we're in a romantic relationship or not.

4. Don't let your friends fall by the wayside--go out with them. Spending time with your friends allows you to let loose and be yourself, without worrying about how you're coming across to the other person.

5. Don't stop doing what you enjoy. If you're a sculptor and your partner's not, don't stop sculpting. If you like to go to the movies, go! Just because you're a couple now is no reason to stop doing everything you enjoy doing because you're partner isn't interested. If it's something you liked before you were a couple, it's a pretty safe bet you still will.

6. Love yourself! If you don't, who will? Get a facial or a massage, or take a hot soothing bath. Do things that make you feel great--you know what they are. Loving and treating yourself well can only bring more love and caring into your relationship.

7. Discover what's deeply important to you. The fastest way to nurture yourself is to pinpoint what you value. When you do this, you are able to give to yourself and to your relationship from a much deeper and more authentic place. Be our guests and download our free values worksheet. You can download it when you visit our website. On completion of the exercise, make a list of the things you can do that will help you to have more of what you value in your life. Next time you are feeling lonely, get out your list and do something on it.

A healthy, satisfying relationship needs as much supportive 'me' time as it does 'we' time. Be sure to schedule both.

If you are ready to learn more about maintaining who you are in a relationship and creating more authentic happiness in your life, sign up for our free, thought-provoking, motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at:http://www.FocusedAttention.com/cmd.php?ad=317928. Each tip offers practical advice for creating and living the life you really want. Or visit us at: http://www.FocusedAttention.com